10 Reasons Why You Should Never Pick Your Nose

We all know it's taboo to pick your nose, but does that stop us? In public maybe, but it's a different story when we are out of sight. At least, we THINK we're out of sight!

Here are 10 reasons why it's a bad idea to pick your nose!

1. It's not ripe. Your mother told you not to pick things that aren't ripe. If it is ripe, please go to the Tropical Diseases section.

2. You don't know where your fingers have been. Remember you stroked the cat 10 minutes ago? And she licked your finger? So Cute! But you really don't want to know what a cat does with it's tongue...

3. We are constantly under surveillance by cctv cameras, by low orbit satellite, by police anti-crime cameras, by news helicopters, by traffic webcams, by your kids digital camera. The chances are excellent that your surreptitious act of personal cleansing will probably air on the 9 o'clock news, and on Google Earths new hi--def close--ups!

4. If your girlfriend caught you doing it, it may ruin the friendship. Even though she does it too, she will never admit it, and rather dump you than lose her spotless reputation.

5. The incriminating evidence is not always that easy to get rid of. Especially if you happen to be in a lift and it suddenly stops on a floor when least expected.

6. In the car it's a no no. All you need is to hit a large pothole, and you could take out a few sinuses and maybe perform an impromptu frontal lobotomy.

7. In certain tribal cultures, this act may be seen as an invitation to marriage, or as a sign of aggression, resulting in a fight to the death. You got to be careful who sees you!

8. You may have some wet super glue on your finger. This could put you on a sticky wicket. However, you could always become a prophet. Call yourself Nostrildamus.

9. If you have big fingers, you could stretch the nostrils. On the bright side though, you could get a job with the police dog tracking unit as a bloodhound.

10. Never, never stick your finger in your nose if you have just chopped up those little devil chillies, or worked with curry powder, or just put some itching powder in your buddy's T-Shirt. You may not live to regret it!

So you see, Mom was right

Look For a Reason to Smile

In today's materialistic world, where the pressure of work is simply unbelievable and the cut throat competition at every level always posses a threat to those seeking some spare time to relax, phrases such as 'laughter is the best medicine' or 'one can always do with a good laugh or two' are too often heard. This has given rise to various set of arguments and an array of laughing clubs all over the world. However, it can be said that an individual does not really require all such 'elaborate' set ups to amuse himself. If only he or she just keeps a tab on what is going on around, it's guaranteed that every now and then he or she can pick up a situation or an incident or a sight that will surely bring a smile to his or her face.

One can again always argue that considering the jet speed life one requires to lead in order to succeed in today's scenario, it is almost next to impossible for anyone to keep a tab on anything else other than the market economies or the changes in one's company policies maybe! However, there is no reason for them to feel dejected or worried about missing out on the chances to amuse themselves because the galleries of funny images on the internet ensures that if someone wants to do it, the reason to smile is always just a mere couple of clicks away. These archives of funny images contain hundreds of snaps taken by both professional photographers as well as amateurs like you and me and range from circumstances that had prevailed thousands of miles away on the other side of the globe to certain moments which have been captured at places and situations that can be just a few blocks away from your apartment. The pictures may be of objects which are in odd shape or state or maybe of children in the act of doing something and ending up doing something entirely different or normal people caught in abnormal circumstances or even comments made by somebody in the form of a cartoon. In other words these series of funny images try and bring to our notice what we tend to neglect and overlook in our daily life and prove the point that seeds of humor are all around you and someone seeking a chance to relax by enjoying some good amusements and laughter can always go for these. What's more is the fact that these galleries of funny images are further categorized under a variety of broad heads such as daily humor, humor at office, humor involving pets, humor concerning children, sports situations, etc. among various others. Thus irrespective of the taste an individual has got in terms of humor, be it slapstick or screwball, dry or sarcastic, satirical or situational, these funny images definitely promises to fulfill and even more!

Dance Moves You Shouldn't Get Caught Doing - No Matter What!

Havelock Ellis once said, "Dancing is the loftiest, the most moving, the most beautiful of the arts, because it is no mere translation or abstraction from life; it is life itself."

That said, I'm betting my moolah the following dance moves, collected from various points in a 30 yr old guy's life aren't exactly what you'd call art nor would anyone want to get caught doing it.

The Macarena - The mere fact that 2 old guys were dancing (well not dancing as much as... swaying) in the video should have been an omen but this song became the second longest running #1 and best selling debut single of all time - in fact it holds the distinction of being the #1 greatest hit wonder of all time. Beat that William Hung.

The Chicken Dance - the 2nd worst thing to happen to parties (the first one, the clown/mascot). As a kid I would dread the moment I'd hear accordions blaring over the speakers and my mother forcing me to dance this with the other kids. Torture. But then again, it'd be slightly acceptable for kids to dance to the chicken tune, but adults? I rest my case.

The MC Hammer Dance - there's a reason why MC Hammer isn't as popular now as he was in the 90s. The Hammer Pants? The golden sparkle shirt? Or maybe the Hammer Dance? No matter how annoying the MC Hammer Dance was, it was horribly cute when it was Cameron Diaz dancing it (unless you're a dead ringer for Cameron Diaz, I suggest we leave this un...danced ).

Country Line Dancing - back in the late 70s, life went back to normal for most people when line dancing died a natural death. However, like a phoenix it rose from the ashes of its former self and was brought back to life by no other than Billy Ray Cyrus' Achy Breaky Heart! Doesn't it make you cringe, remembering back then how fun it was to line dance? (or wasn't it!?)

The Robot - Although I say you shouldn't be caught doing this, there are a few talented others who can do the robot with the precision only a real robot can have - and make money while doing it - or 15 minutes of fame! If there's one dance move I can be ambivalent about, this would be it. Just make sure you can pull it off.

History has a habit of repeating itself - in a few years, we might have another Macarena or another chicken dance to torture our kids with. So keep your eyes peeled; you'll never know what dance move might be created to make you the laughingstock of your next reunion or potential blackmail material.

What other dance moves do you secretly know but wouldn't get caught doing? Share yours.

Andy Biggins knows that life isn't a box of chocolates but he loves it as sweetly as if it were! Travelling and Gadgets rule his world, and if you want to know more about his thoughts on just about those 2 topics, swing by his site The Big Life

The Three Bears - Unplugged

When I was a little boy, my dad was busy working three jobs to support his family. He worked as a fireman, on his days off he would repair boats down by the riverside and in the evenings, he would deliver home fuel.

It was hard for me, my brother and sister to understand why he worked all these jobs. Was it because he loved us so much, or because he didn't want to hear our mother complain about how my sister smacked my brother across the back of the head with a shovel? Whichever it was, it was always a treat to have Dad home on one of those infrequent evenings off and come into our rooms to check on us at bedtime.

I can still remember the crack of light from the hallway as Dad would open the door to our room. We would pretend we were asleep, but we could tell it was him from the mixed smell of smoke, heating oil and seaweed.

One of us would always stir and say, "Hi, Dad" as he tried to sneak out unobserved. He would whisper for us to go back to sleep, but the damage had been done and we would sit up in bed and ask him to tell us a bedtime story. By then, our sister had joined us.

Now, Dad was what we call, by today's standards, as a "manly-man." Today, he would probably be a contestant on "American Gladiators", or be the headliner at a monster car rally. So, he wasn't very well versed in the art of bedtime stories, which was fine with us, because he would make up his own. He would ask us which one we would like to hear and we'd say something like, "The Three Bears" and this is the story he would tell:

"Once upon a time," he'd start, "there were three bears. A momma bear, a poppa bear and a baby bear. They lived in a modern, modest three bedroom cave just under the El. Yes, they were the Chicago Bears. One night, Momma Bear was cooking up a pot of fettuccini." (Dad would provide the sound effects with his stories. Like here, he would make a bubbling noise.) "Poppa Bear," Dad continued, "said, 'this stuff is too hot. Let's go down to the projects, while this is cooling, and annoy some tourists.' So, they hopped into their car, a Stutz Bearcat, and headed out." (Sound effect of an old car cranking up and pulling away)

"While they were out, a cute little golden-haired angel, played by Priscilla Lane, appeared at their front door. She knocked." (Knocking noises) "When no one answered, she went in. She walked past the fettuccini and headed to the liquor cabinet, where she made herself a Harvey Wallbanger." (Ice cube clinking in a glass and liquid being poured) "She became extremely tired and headed upstairs to the bedroom. She skipped the preliminaries and fell asleep in Baby Bear's bed."

"Meanwhile, the Bear family came home." (Dad would make the sound of tires screeching and the car crashing.) "Momma Bear was driving. They went into the cave and Poppa Bear noticed immediately that someone had hit his liquor cabinet and he began to cry. Poppa Bear was very sensitive about his booze."

"Baby Bear stood at the top of the stairs and yelled down, 'Hey, Pop, there's a cute looking chic in my bed. Is possession still nine points of the law?'

"With that, Goldilocks woke up and screamed." (Scream - like I had to tell you.) "She had never seen a little bear with a grin like that on his face before. Quickly, she jumped up and dove through the window." (Glass crashing)

"The Three Bears chased her through the woods. Okay, so there are no woods in Chicago, this is where your imaginations are going to have to come in."

"Goldilocks came upon a hunter who had just stopped the big, bad wolf from eating Little Red Riding Hood. Goldilocks yelled, 'You've got to help me! These three bears are after me.' Without another word, the hunter emptied his shotgun into the trio." (Shotgun going off)

"Goldilocks, the hunter and Little Red Riding Hood went into business together and opened up an S&H Green Stamp Redemption Store and lived happily ever after."

Dad would tuck us all in and, on his way out, he would turn around, smile and quietly close the door. A few seconds would pass and we would giggle ourselves to sleep as we could hear Mom, in the background, telling Dad how my brother glued my sister to a tree.

Staying on the Funny Side - Of Kitchen Gadgets

I'm a sucker for those "As Seen On TV" kitchen gadgets.

Show me a woman in a dated hairdo and a pantsuit, waving her hand over a seventy-five-piece plastic monogrammed food packaging and storage system, and my pulse starts to race.
Show me the whole family frolicking (is that still a word?) through the meadow with the dog and the handy dandy monogrammed food packaging carrying case on wheels with the drink holder and solar radio, and I'm diving for my credit card.

Tell me that for just an additional dollar, I can get a complete set of stainless steel knives guaranteed to cut steel and to outlive three generations, and it is no longer a want - no longer a need - it has become an I must have this or I will die - forget braces for Junior, Mamma needs a food storage system.

My husband tried to block the channel after I ordered him thirty-seven button-me-easy kits that promise to replace your button in thirty seconds without the need for needles or thread. He said it would have been a good idea, if most of his shirts had buttons.

It happens again yesterday. Just when I've barely recovered from the ramifications of ordering a lifetime supply of under-the-bed sweater organizers that emit a lilac scent - I see her white teeth and that familiar pantsuit, and I'm under her spell again. This time is different. This gadget is the king daddy of all gadgets - the Air Sucker 2000 - breaking all records in high tech kitchen gadgetry. Put your food in the bag, slide the bag through the sealer and it sucks all the air out of the bag and keeps it fresh for the rest of your life - just as fresh as the day you put it in. We're thinking of using it on Great Uncle Fred. You can seal pork chops, chicken, steak, salad, soup, and even a pint of your dog's blood should he ever need a transfusion. This would have been a handy thing to have when Uncle Skeeter cut off his toe with the weed whacker and we needed something to carry it in.

This is revolutionary. This will save us millions of dollars in wasted food. This, I have to have. I decide to order three - just in case they stop making them. "What are you doing?" my husband asks in an accusing tone as I'm reciting my credit card number to Susie who swears the Air Sucker 2000 changed her life. How does he do that? I have to yell for help four times when I super glue my foot into my new shoe (long story). It takes ten minutes for him to come to my aid when I get my hair caught in the drain (even longer story). We have a dead squirrel on the front porch for three days and he doesn't even notice. Pick up the phone to try and place a tiny little credit card order and it's like I blew a dog whistle.

I tell Susie to please hold, roll my eyes, and explain to my husband, while trying to be patient, that this is one of those necessary purchases. "You do NOT need that," he says, gritting his teeth. He should really learn to handle stress more effectively. "Yes. I do." "Like you needed the battery operated Bug-Be-Gone for the pool?" He can be quite sarcastic when he wants to be. "Hey, you said yourself that was good idea," I point out. "We don't have a pool!" he growls. I hang up the phone before Susie can call 911 to report domestic violence and follow my husband to the kitchen where he's standing with his arms crossed, wearing that look he gets when he's about to win an argument. Uh-oh.

"Open that cabinet," he barks. "Come on. Open it. And tell me what you see." I don't appreciate his tone. "Let's see," I murmur. "There's the green pepper spiraler....the vegetable blender with the pasta attachment...the six-speed juicer with the sleeve to hold the morning paper...oh, here's that cute serving tray with the ceramic pigs in bikinis on pool floats...and the pasta colander that turns into a centerpiece...and I'm not really sure exactly what this thing is..." My voice trails off as I crawl deeper into the cabinet. "What's that behind the silver-plated cake stand that sings happy birthday?" he asks while I drag out a dust-covered contraption and read the words on the side: Air Sucker 2000.

Suddenly it comes rushing back - November, two years ago. I still remember the day it came in the mail. I was so excited. I was convinced that this revolutionary item would change my life. I never could figure out how it worked. It was missing three pieces, wouldn't work on any speed but high, made an awful screeching noise, blew a fuse, and was wider than my counter top. I wrapped one piece of chicken (which is still in my freezer, thank you very much) and decided it wasn't worth the effort.

Okay, okay, so maybe my husband has a point. He's still a little mad. It's probably better that I don't tell him there are three more Air Suckers in the basement.